He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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