plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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