My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
