he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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