Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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