Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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