brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
