there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
