You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
