I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
