He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I need to stop coming to work sober
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
