Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
