Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
