ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
