Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
