let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
