your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
