we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
