Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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