Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
