i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
