if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
