please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
