We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
