No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
