haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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