yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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