Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
