3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
