I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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