apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
