i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
