I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
