He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
