And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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