Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
