You made me cry and you don't even care
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
