youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
