Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
