thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
