if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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