all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
