If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
