Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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