One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
