..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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