I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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