Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
