No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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