I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
